Category Archives: Featured

Full Acceptance or Just an Exception


By Lydia Istomina 
(first published by GCSRW )

What prevented The United Methodist Church from amending the original phrasing of Paragraph 4 earlier? The amendment is about female leadership in The United Methodist Church and the age of our leaders. Let’s leave social justice, democracy, and inclusivity aside for a moment and approach the problem from economical and performance standpoint.

A recent study by Duke University shows that only 11% of women serve as “senior or solo pastoral leaders.” Ironically, the beginning of my ministry was with a “new start” congregation that became a fast-growing church. I became a poster-child for The United Methodist in Eurasia. But now, after 20 years of serving small American congregations, I do not see a way for me, as well as for many other clergywomen, to get even near the glass ceiling without divine intervention.

In 2008, there were 82 women who were senior pastors of churches with a membership of more than 1,000. In 2010, there were 94 women leading large churches. The survey found that 9 out of 10 lead women pastors of large membership churches were the first women to lead that church, as in the case of Grace Olathe UMC in Kansas.

Is the church scared of women’s sexuality behind the pulpit that it causes the church push a clergywoman to find a job outside of the church? Kira Schlesinger blogs about how often women clergy hear that they were “too pretty” to be a pastor. The still patriarchal Church continues viewing women as “desirable” or “disposable” objects. Could it be that out of the fear of sexual harassment lawsuits, The United Methodist Church keeps women away? Continue reading

Blogging

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View from the Hammock – blogs in English

Взгляд из Гамака – Russian

Don’t Move Up The Hierarchy – Move Across It

Ron Ashkenas,  Forbes Contributor

The author writes about simplifying organizations in a complex world.

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Like it or not, most of us think about career success in terms of moving up the hierarchy. Let me illustrate with a story:

I once worked with the new CEO of a well-known global firm that was barely breaking even. The CEO’s mandate from the board was to improve profitability. To do this, he planned to institute global manufacturing platforms so that product “families” would have the same core design no matter where in the world they were sold. The reduced-cost savings would be in the tens of millions of dollars.

This initiative would take a couple years of hard work, so the CEO tapped the president of the North American Division to take the lead on a full-time basis. This person, let’s call him Bill, had been with the company for many years, understood the engineering and supply chain issues, and was well respected by everyone.

Continue reading here http://www.forbes.com/sites/ronashkenas/2014/03/14/dont-move-up-the-hierarchy-move-across-it/

Where Were My Eye Balls?

My parents used to travel back and forth from Russia to visit my sister and me before moving to America for good. My mother gradually adjusted to the high level of services in this country and quickly learned the benefits of being a customer. She couldn’t believe her eyes – people were actually polite and attentive! What she liked most was that she had the right to return or exchange low-quality items – something almost unthinkable for her!
One day, she came back to Russia and found out that my Dad brought home expired yogurt. Mom didn’t even want to listen to my father’s reasons – that it was not America, and nobody would take the dairy products back – she sent him back to the store anyway.
“Where were your eyeballs?” the sales clerk yelled vulgarly at my father, looking down at him.
It became our family joke for years: “Where were your eyeballs?” We say it every time we remember poor Russian services and compare them with the exceptionally polite and considerate customer service here. My mother liked shopping in America until one day we went to buy a mattrass for her.
We found a nice mattress store and purchased two new mattresses sealed in plastic for a little more than $700. The joy ended right there. My mother and I noticed a strong mildew odor in her bedroom as soon as we furnished it. Would you think of a new bed if you have a strong suffocating odor? I wouldn’t!
I checked every corner of our new place, I sprayed bottles and bottles of Febreze, but the mold was getting only stronger. The bedding was my next suspect. I washed it, and washed it, and I washed it again but, every time I entered the room, I smelled the mold again.
My mother got nasty headaches, but I was not able to be attentive to her, having my own problems increasing day after day. My throat swelled and I lost my voice for weeks to come, and I didn’t even sleep in the room. For a public speaker to lose her voice is the same as for a jeweler to lose her fingers. I make my living through my voice. That was scary.
Only by accident did we discover that the problem was neither the bedding nor the apartment but the mattresses.
“It is America – not Russia!” I told my mother. All we needed to do was to see the storeowner. I soon could tell that the owner “stopped liking my face.” This was not just the obvious observation of his attitude, but his own words. He told me that he didn’t like my face as soon as I explained why I wanted to return the mattress.
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I felt I had the right to be heard, even if he stopped liking me. I still believed that any storeowner would naturally try his best to satisfy his or her customers. Instead, we experienced déjà vu: before our eyes, the American man suddenly transformed into a rude and arrogant salesman (too familiar to us, Russians), who yelled and screamed and laughed with a victorious sound.
“Get out of my store! You threaten me with Problems Solvers, you lie to me. You come from nobody knows what country, speaking nobody knows what language! I sold 50,000 mattresses and never had a mildew problem. You are the only ones who came back! Get out of my store!” He suddenly looked angrily and hatefully down at my mother, who sat innocently in the armchair, not having a clue about what was going on, and yelled again,
“Do not sit on my furniture! Get off my furniture! Get out of my store! Get out of my store!”
He was so angry I had to call the police, not knowing that the owner could behave as he wished on his property. That was explained to me later by the city police officer.
“Arrest her! Arrest her for trespassing!” he didn’t stop yelling, even in front of the police officer.
“I can’t,” said the officer.
“I’d rather be arrested,” I said and offered to turn myself in, envisioning how my friends would picket the mattress place. I knew I would win. It is not Russia; my dignity is preserved in America. After we left the store, my mother complained: “Where are the new mattresses? Did the owner agree on exchanging them?” I hugged her and smiled, “Where were our eyeballs, Mom?” She looked at me with sudden understanding, and we both laughed through tears.

Bringing Hidden Things to Light

The second edition of Lydia Istomina’s book Bringing Hidden Things to Light is available on Amazon.

Americans have churches on every corner and do not value their freedom to practice their faith. American congregations suffer from bullying and antagonism running people off. In Russia, faith and Church were prohibited for 60 years. This book is about the first female pastor and God’s work through her in post-Soviet Russia. It is a true story of transformation that took place in Ekaterinburg, Russia and brought together many ordinary individuals who attempted an extraordinary change.

The book also shares a concern about the ethical side of Christian missionary work in a foreign country. The excitement of meeting American missionaries did not allow the former Soviets to distinguish true collaboration from manipulation and discrimination. Continue reading

Welcome!

Welcome to Lydia Istomina Official Website! Lydia is a minister, advocate for justice, social media marketing consultant, author, and a blog writer.  Her blog Changing the Mindset: Full Acceptance or Just and Exception was published by the General Commission on the Status and Role of Women.

One of Lydia’s books From Misery to Mystery is filled with short, easy-to-digest anecdotes that fit together to depict her story- the life of a mother, immigrant, and spiritual leader. Taken individually, each morsel is easily accessible and applicable to all of our lives. Childhood wonderment. Adolescent questioning. The growth and success, as well as loss and transformation, of adulthood. What is remarkable about Istomina is that she has not lost the connection to the unadulterated, sincere emotions that she lived in each of these anecdotes. The passage of time has not covered her memories in cob webs and the retelling of them has not become mixed with the revisionism of ex-post facto rationalization. This quality of Istomina as a story-teller makes the experience of reading From Misery to Mystery so rewarding, the rewards compounded by the growing understanding of her worldview, humor, and spirituality that one gets moving through each story.

About Lydia Istomina

Minister, singer, writer, Russian tutor and consultant for organizational change.

Lydia is a prolific, original and inspirational writer with deep insight and keen ability to put her very unique experiences into words. Her blog captures the essence of those experiences and observations at http://ligooshka.blogspot.com. Her blog View From the Hammock represents Lydia’s view on life, relationships, and ethics. She also blogs in Russian Vzgliad is Gamaka.

Lydia’s latest book, the second edition of her Bringing Hidden Things to Light, is out on Kindle, do not miss it!

From Misery to Mystery” is a book that presents an enticing and very personal account of her life in America, especially in the Kansas City Area, as a woman, a foreigner, a pastor, and just as a regular human being.
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Zhizn’ Dushi: Zastav Duraka Bogu Molitsa,” or Life of a Soul, published in Russian, is an autobiographical thriller, providing  a sincere account of her personal transformation given against a background of political and historic events that filled the 1990s. Her articles and stories are published in the Methodist magazines and newspapers around the world.